Bloodline

Don’t stop,
that’s the secret to life.
You aren’t going to eliminate problems.
Just don’t stop.

That’s paraphrased from a YouTube video I watched, of Johnny Hawkins, lead singer of Nothing More about the band’s song ‘Don’t Stop’ from the Album ‘The Stories We Tell Ourselves’

The band is amazing. They care about their art. The lyrics are deep, and introspective, and mysterious, but ‘Don’t Stop’ is probably one of the more direct on the album.

The lyrics go something like:

Johnny Hawkins

Image Credits: Carmen Lenk Photography www.carmen-lenk.de

I ain't waiting on the world to wake up
you never need luck when you don't stop, don't stop
My new year's resolution
To choke out my illusions
To cut through the confusion
keep on digging deep, keep digging deep
Keep digging deep, we keep digging
We don't stop, we don't stop

I was planning to write about Momentum anyway.
And New Year's Resolutions.
It IS January 1.
(This might actually be a blog about coaching!)

I love music.
I love lyrics.
I love writing.
I love displays of emotions.
I love artists,
of all kinds.
I love learning about artists.
I love reading artists’ biographies.
I love watching YouTube interviews of artists talking about their art.
I love hearing about their processes.
I love knowing that artists I respect, and are wildly or moderately successful, had moments when they wanted to quit, in the past.

Nothing More originally called the song ‘Don’t Stop’ ‘Bloodline’
It took them about 3 years to make the song.
In the interview mentioned earlier, Johnny, the lead singer, describes how the band had some 4 different lead singers, while Johnny was in the band the whole time, and has an amazing voice, but he didn’t have the confidence to be the frontman. It took some time.

I think I got one like on Facebook on my last blog post.
I’m really bothered by how little attention it is getting.
I’m really just at a point where I am writing the way I want, not trying to please anyone.
It is leaving me feeling so vulnerable, and I am getting nothing back.
In a point in my life where it feels like the whole world is telling me I am too much,
and it can’t handle me.
I told my friend “I really wanna quit blogging, and I love it so much.”
My good friend said “You are headed in a direction that is so much more beautiful and miraculous than likes on a blog.”
And I believed him.
My writing teacher said I am writing a book.
And I believe her.
So I won’t stop.

I remember driving, about 2 years ago, I was on the Golden Gate Bridge, and I was listening to this Twenty One Pilots song (Kitchen Sink) about how creating art forces you to face your perceived unworthiness. It really hit me how obsessed I am with this concept. It seemed like the only thing that’s ever been more interesting to me than changing my body, or helping other people change their bodies. It scared me because I loved that I was already working in health and fitness, something that I was so passionate about, and I didn’t want to have to think about a career change, or losing my passion for teaching movement. Fortunately, teaching movement and learning about your own worthiness tend to go hand in hand. And I get to make art by attempting to explain this to you all.
(As long as I don’t frustrated and quit, because…)

This is the part of the blog where I actually get into some coaching:

My coaching style, similar to my writing style, is very personal, I like to share my own stories to connect. I think it helps. Truth is, exercise, diet, weight loss, fitness, New Year’s Resolutions, even combating shitty diet culture, is always going to be a passion of mine, but it’s just not as interesting to me as making art is right now.
It took me about 27 years, but I’ve conquered my weight loss goals. (Thank you, next)
The interesting thing is that I am seeing this same pattern with my art.
This same pattern that I used to have problems with, and I help people, professionally, overcome with their health.
This same pattern of quitting because you think you aren’t good enough.

I don’t know, I guess I like this challenge of trying to merge my writing and my career. I want to explain to you that, I know what it feels like.
And I’m not better than you, because I am still dealing with it, I have just already done the one you are trying to do, so maybe I can be there for you.
Maybe we can be there for each other.

I had another friend who called me. She was new to the gym. She didn’t know how to use the machines, or if she was doing anything right. She was considering a personal trainer but didn’t really want one, she didn’t have extra money, and she likes to be alone at the gym. She didn’t want to be on a strict schedule, to be shamed for lack of motivation, or for missing sessions, which she inevitably will have to do because she has a baby. But just like so many other people who are going to be starting out new at the gym this month, because of their New Year’s Resolutions, she thought those were negatives traits about her, that she had to change to improve herself.
The fitness industry profits off you thinking you can’t do it.

I told her, "Look. You are smart, so I am not going to bullshit you. There is a secret (this is true) us fitness professionals all know, that we don’t want you to know. This shit isn’t that hard. You actually already know what to do, you don’t need me. Or a personal trainer. And, anything you do, as a brand new person in the gym, is physiologically kinda all the same. The first couple sessions are really just an attempt to change your habits and patterns and build your confidence. That’s all we do with brand new people for the first 3 months. It doesn't matter if you do 10 sets of 3, or 3 sets of 10. Or if you superset lower body with abs, and then cardio or if you go climb a tree, or run around with your kids instead. It’s about consistency, confidence, and forward momentum."
Just don’t stop.

Find something you enjoy doing. If you don’t exercise, and you want to do it everyday, you are going to have a really hard time following a super strict complicated plan. What do you like to do? Go on a walk? Hike? Bike? Elliptical? Zumba? Yoga? Do you like going somewhere or staying home? Just start with something, something you like, and trust you are good enough to do it, and just keep going. Keep going until it’s a pattern. Keep going until you are bored.
Don’t stop.

And if you do, don’t be mean to yourself, or just give up. It doesn’t mean anything. I know it feels like it means something, but it doesn’t. It just means you are changing. It means you are doing something that is hard to do. So just try again. Try to start again. And again, and again, and again. Until one day you just don’t stop, because there is a new thing you are trying to not quit.